At the very end of Ella’s school year, she went on the annual Park Point hike with her school. My friend was along on the hike and sent me this photo. I just love it.
This girl and her style.
Since he now knows how to blow, he’s been loving the dandelions.
A visit to Grandma & Grandpa’s to play with cousins!
Ah, my hometown water tower. The bobber.
My sister and I took our girls to Dru’s Park in the middle of town. Dru was a beautiful young woman I sat beside in choir and was on student council with in high school. Her life ended tragically when we were in college, but we remember her here.
S’mores with Grandma and Grandpa. A favorite, or course!
And hugs with the cousins.
Luke & Hannah got a puppy! Ella and Sam are completely in love with little Bailey. Though she won’t be little much longer!
Sure do love our Hannah!
This is the first summer in our current house, and we were wonderfully surprised to find lots of lilac bushes next to us. Ella took it upon herself to gather jars of them for our table and to deliver to the neighbors.
Summer simply cannot exist without ice cream. It’s a fact.
I’ve taken the kids up to Gooseberry State Park multiple times in the last two months. It’s a quiet hour or so up the shore from us, so the kids watch a movie while I listen to an audio book. Then we have a picnic and hike to the falls. God’s creation is absolutely breathtaking.
Sam is always enthralled by the water.
One of the things we’ve most been looking forward to this summer has been Ella’s lemonade stand. She worked on various jobs throughout the winter so she could have enough money to buy supplies to start her little business. We live on a great road for a stand this summer. We hope to be out many more days as the summer progresses.
It was pretty exciting to have a sweet friend stop by for a cold cup of lemonade!
And Ella voted Pastor Michael as the coolest customer of her first day. A clear winner, indeed!
We’ve really just begun summer here in Duluth, so we’re looking forward to many more adventures! What are you most looking forward to this summer?
Ok, maybe goddess is a bit much, but seriously! I woke up this morning and decided I want to be a domestic … we need a better word … a domestic … Well, let’s be honest. Even if I said I want to be a domestic woman it would likely be an improvement on how I feel most days. Housework is not my forte. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy it. I do! When I can have a morning to pull out my rags and cleaners and make my house sparkle, I am so pleased.
evidence that I cleaned my house today
The problem arises simply because I just can’t stay on top of the mess! Moms of littles, can I get an amen? I adore my kids but they can pull apart a room so fast, they would surely medal if it was an Olympic event. Also, Sam has this thing that we are having the hardest time getting around. As soon as he’s finished with his plate, bowl, or cup, he whips it off the table. We sit nearby trying to stop such actions, but he is seriously so, so fast. And he doesn’t always do it in the same direction, so we attempt to predict where it will be rocketed. Sam typically wins this game. As a result, the floor and wall and radiator next to his seat are usually a sticky mess. Where can I get a disposable floor?
Then there’s laundry. Don’t even get me started. Or do, maybe, just so I can document how horrible I am at this never-ending task. Oh. My. Goodness. Why is it so hard to successfully complete a few loads from start to finish? I know why. Too many steps.
Step One: Gather all soiled clothing. Check under beds, in toy bins, and in all random nooks & crannies.
Step Two: Sort gathered clothing. Don’t mix whites with colors. And if at all possible, sort into strategic, themed piles. For example: kids’ clothes, towels, sheets, dress shirts, scrubs, etc. Makes folding easier. (If, in fact, we make it that far.)
Step Three: Begin the wash/dry cycle. If all loads are to be washed in a timely manner, be sure to set a timer. Without a timer, all hope is lost. One will inevitably get pulled into another task and completely forget about the wet clothes in the machine. This will most likely result in the need to run them through another wash cycle.
Step Four: Fold each load as it comes out of the dryer. Or, if small children are present, make a pile of clean clothes out of their reach and wait until nap time. If this is not done, every beautifully folded pile will be strewn across the room.
// Step Four A: This is often the place I get stuck. I realize I cannot devote time at that moment to folding, so the clean laundry stays in baskets where it is collected on a need-to-use basis. Each morning, dig through the necessary basket to find clean underwear, matching socks, and a wrinkled shirt. Note: This does require more time in the long run and is usually accompanied by the hurried stress of needing a piece of clothing that can’t quite be found in the piles and piles of (clean!) laundry. In the case of Step Four A, laundry will go from clean basket to being worn to dirty basket. Or, as is often the case in our house, the two piles will eventually collide and all clothing will need to be washed since we no longer know what is clean and what is dirty. //
Step Five: Put all clean, folded laundry away. Even in a house as small as ours, this is a task. Actually, maybe it’s such a task due to our lack of space to store our clothes. Pete and I share one small dresser and a foot-and-a-half of closet hanging space. (Not an exaggeration. You’re welcome to measure my closet.) If all of our clothes are clean at a single moment, it’s a bit like putting together a puzzle to get them all in the drawers together.
During Sam’s nap. Nice & tidy.
If ever there is a day I successfully complete all above steps in a timely fashion, I rejoice. REJOICE. And yes, I take pictures. I feel I must, just in case it never happens again. I need evidence that there was a time when I did actually finish all the laundry from start to finish. Because we all know what happens next. Someone comes in during the wee hours of the morning asking if their white dress shirt or polka dot leggings are clean and the entire process starts all over. Oh, laundry. You will be the end of me.
Still, on top of all the laundry shenanigans, I am committed to learning how to keep my house on the cleaner side. I want to live in a place where I hold no fear of someone dropping by unannounced and finding my house an utter disaster. On the other end of the scale, let it be known that I don’t feel the need to keep my house perfectly tidy at all times. One, I don’t have the energy for that. And two, that’s not real life, people. Friends, you are welcome any time. Just know that I may be closing some doors to hide a pile or two. When I do, just look the other way. I promise to do the same when I visit your home. 😉
I set the box by the door to take to small group. My mistake.
I am currently reading For the Love by Jen Hatmaker, which if full of all these amazing recipes and dinner ideas, and it makes me want to cook. Cleaning, cooking, and laundry. I’m totally going to do this. Watch out, Pete, you won’t even recognize this house when you get home tomorrow. Prepare yourself, for I am a domestic goddess. (well, something like that anyway)
Update: I just realized that, while writing this post, Sam has completely emptied my bedside table. I thought the door was closed and he was playing in his room. I was wrong.
Disclaimer: I recommend the book only because I’m so enjoying it. I have not been compensate for that thought in any way.
Four years ago this week I wrote a post that marked a significant turning point for our family. I remember wondering how we would share the unexpected news of our baby boy’s arrival in a way that could include all the beautiful parts of meeting him, the deep love and protection we immediately felt for him and the sincere trust we continued to have in our Heavenly Father. In Sam’s first two days, we called family and close friends to tell them the news. A simple It’s a BOY! message along with his name and stats was posted on Facebook, but no pictures accompanied it. Pete and I both needed time to process. And then, just before leaving the hospital while Sam stayed in the NICU, the words came. Without question, that was the day I was most thankful to have a blog. We could share the full story, all of our thoughts and emotions, along with photos of our beautiful boy. We wouldn’t need to repeat the story over and over and all details would be articulated. With a single click of the publish button, we shared our precious boy with the world.
I will always treasure the words I wrote in the quietness of my hospital room. All the fresh feelings of love and surprise and joy. It was the beginning of a journey I didn’t expect but am now incredibly thankful to be on. I can’t imagine life without the events of that night four years ago.
So again, four years later, I want to share those words along with a few more photos and follow-up notes. These are the words that introduced our Samuel with the world.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Things first began on Tuesday night (May 22) when I crawled into bed at about 10pm and I began to feel small contractions. They didn’t really catch my attention, though, since I had been feeling Braxton Hicks contractions (a sort of fake contraction) for about 15 weeks. A few of them did wake me during the night, though. On Wednesday morning I decided to go about my regular schedule and see what happened. While shopping at Target for a few last items for my hospital bag, I had to stop multiple times to lean on my cart and let a contraction pass. In the afternoon, Ella & I went to Becky’s to watch Malena & Maira while Becky went to the dentist. At that time, the contractions continued to strengthen and were only about 4 minutes apart. Let me tell you, it was not comfortable having the three little girls crawling all over me while the contractions hit. But it kept me somewhat distracted! After Becky got home, I paged Pete out of surgery, telling him things were getting more intense. I drove the 10 minutes to the hospital (perhaps I should not have been driving at that point, but I wasn’t completely convinced I was in labor) and let Pete drive me home. The beauty of being married to a doctor is that he was able to check my progress while we were home. Much to my relief, he confirmed that I surely was in labor and had made it to about 5cm. Yay! We took our time gathering the last things for the hospital and headed in.
After a brief stop at the store to pick up a plant (so nice to have in the room during labor) and a magazine (to fill the time during labor before the actual delivery), we arrived at the hospital at 7pm. I was definitely needing to breathe through the contractions at that point and even got to ride in a wheelchair to the OB floor. I dropped off the cupcakes I had made that afternoon for the nurses and settled into my room. I have to tell you that from the very moment I got to the room, I asked if an order could be put in for an epidural. I’ve never felt that I’m a mama who needs to go without meds, and I was worried we would miss the window if we didn’t get going on it. Shortly after that, Pete checked me again and I was between 7 and 8cm. Things were moving fast! Before 9pm…and before I was given an epidural…I hit the complete 10cm and my window for meds was closed. I have to honestly say that I wasn’t excited when I was told I would have to deliver without meds. It scared me, and I really wondered if I would be able to handle the pain. With Ella, I never made it past 6cm and, therefore, never got to push at all. The opportunity for a VBAC had come, and that did make me happy. I wanted to have the experience of pushing and breathing and being coached by Pete. I wanted to have a chance to push a baby into the world the way women have been doing it for years and years and years.
And push I did. For 2 1/2 hours I pushed. Without meds. That was a lot of work! I really focused on putting all of my energy into the pushing, not yelling or crying or cursing out my husband, as I’ve heard can easily happen. Instead, I felt incredibly close to Pete through the whole experience. He was an amazing coach. When I was discouraged, he looked right into my eyes and reassured me. I found a lot of strength in that. I also found myself talking to Jesus between contractions and pushing. I know He was giving me a great deal of strength. Everything looked like it was going well until we reached the 2 1/2 hour mark. Then our little one started to show signs of dropping oxygen levels and my cervix began to swell a great deal, to the point that it looked like it may actually be closing again. Pete & I jointly made the decision to do a c-section for the protection of the baby. I was taken down the elevator on a bed, groaning the entire way as super strong contractions ripped through me.
Though I ended up in another c-section, the entire experience was far different than when I had Ella. This time I completely dilated, pushed for a long time, tried many different positions, and really gave it everything I had. I got to experience everything I wanted to with child birth. It was time to get our baby out while he or she was still doing okay. So that’s what we did.
My mom made it to the hospital just in time to join us in the OR for the section. Pete stood next to me the entire time, looking over the sheet for the moment our little one would enter the world. I felt great peace in those moments before the birth. I was able to pray for the doctors in the room before the section began (most of whom I knew from the residency) and hummed one of my favorite camp songs about seeking Jesus’ face. Everything was perfect as I excitedly awaited the announcement of our little one’s arrival. And then it came! Pete proclaimed, “It’s a boy!” and we were both ecstatic as images of my dear Pete with his long-awaited son filled my head. I announced to all present that our son’s name would be Samuel Thomas Amani Olsen as I held back tears of joy. And then I realized how quiet the room was.
The doctors – our friends – huddled around our Samuel on the warming table while I heard only a small, weak, peep of a cry. It was a tiny sound. Though I felt peace, not concern, I asked one of the doctors to take a small step to the side so I could get my first glimpse of our little one. And that’s when I saw the first sign. His body wasn’t clenched like Ella had been when she was born. Sam’s arms were floppy. I asked Pete to bring him closer so I could see him. I longed for the first real view of my son. When Pete held him close, Samuel opened his eyes and looked right at me. And it was in that tiny instant that I knew it in my heart. Was it my mama instinct? Was it the fact that I had been carrying this beautiful little boy inside me for so many months prior to this moment of introduction? I don’t know, but it was instantly clear to me. Our little Samuel has Down syndrome.
I was wheeled into the recovery room while Pete and my mom and the other doctors took Sam up to the NICU to give him a complete exam. I don’t know how much time passed before Pete and my doctor, Maria, came through the door, quiet and serious. My thoughts were confirmed in that moment. In an instant, many things changed. But in that same instant, many things were peacefully confirmed within me. God is good. God has a plan. God created our little Samuel, and we were chosen to be his parents. What an honor.
The last 2 1/2 days have been the beginning of journey down what a doctor recognized yesterday as our “new normal.” Samuel remains in the NICU while he works through the transition from the warm, safe place of my womb to the outside world. His oxygen levels have needed the most time to adjust. He was most comfortable in a warm incubator without much handling the first 24 hours. We haven’t been able to have him in our room. We haven’t changed any of his diapers. And I just got the all-clear to try nursing him. So far he’s been getting my pumped milk through a feeding tube in his nose. Each little step he’s made forward, we’ve celebrated. Late last night, Pete sat with me as I held him on my chest. His sweet little eyes looked up at me a few times, completely melting every ounce of my heart. Pete held him for a little while, too, and Samuel eventually fell asleep cuddled with his daddy. It was so hard to leave him in the NICU to return to our room. There will soon come a time when we won’t have to leave him for a single moment. We’re praying that the time comes very, very soon.
I’m now packing and getting ready to head home…without my sweet little boy. First we’ll try nursing, though. Pete & I will both be back very often to rock Sammy and I’ll nurse him. Miss Ella is excited to see him, too. We tried having her visit him in the NICU two days ago, but it was all a bit too much for her. We’re praying Samuel will be discharged on Monday or Tuesday, though we have to keep a very open hand about that in case anything unexpected pops up.
Please pray with us for our little Samuel. Pray that his oxygen levels will get to a good place so he can breathe all on his own. Pray that he will quickly adapt to nursing. Pray that he’ll get to be home with us in the next few days. And please pray for Pete and I as we learn what this new beginning will entail and how all of this will draw us forward. Thank you!!
In the end, Sam spent two full weeks in the NICU. In that time, we continued to try to nurse, but his little jaw just wasn’t strong enough and there were so many distractions from the alarms and cords and other babies. (At that time, the NICU was a large, open space with 18 tiny babies. A year later, Sam & I attended the opening of the brand new, very private, NICU!) After 24 hours breathing successfully on his own, Sam came home. In the peace of his own room, we worked on nursing a little bit every day. A week later, he latched on and at seven weeks he had his first full feeding. After that, he was pretty much an eating champ! That was the first time he showed us his determination on his own timeline. Countless times since then, he has worked and worked and worked on a skill and eventually mastered it with great success. Sitting, clapping, crawling, and now he’s nearly walking. This darling boy has surely changed our pace of parenting and expectations. I think it’s safe to say he was born to be spectacular!
It’s hard to believe that four {FOUR!} years ago today this ray of sunshine came into our lives. I love this boy to pieces. To pieces, I tell you! Today while we were at the store, I kept kissing his cheeks, and every single time, he grinned his big, toothy grin and wiped them away. I can’ help it. I feel so incredibly thankful to be this kid’s mama. And isn’t he just the handsomest little lumberjack you’ve ever laid eyes on?!
Big sister and I started the day today by dumping a basket filled with balloons over his bed and letting him blow out a candle on a Hostess cupcake. But the big celebration was last Thursday morning so Daddy could join us. I have to give a great big THANK YOU! to Anna of Along an Inland Sea Photography for capturing these photos. How excited I was when she arrived to the party and asked if she should grab her camera from the car! I treasure these, Anna. Thank you!
We hosted a little lumberjack brunch in a room at our old condo building. The sun was shining and the waves were splashing onto the shore. The kids loved it and played happily in the grass between brunch and cake.
I don’t often make cakes these days, so when I do, I so completely enjoy it. This tree stump cake was a chocolate cake with chocolate almond buttercream and Ghirardelli dark chocolate bark around the outside.
A few weeks ago, Sam’s speech therapist and I started working with him on blowing with the hopes he would be able to blow out his own birthday candles this year. Friends, I was a puddle inside after this happened…
He works so hard! Next big goal…walking! He’s amazing. He’ll be there soon.
Sam was all about the pancakes on a stick.
A peek at the invitations I made for Sam’s celebration.
A few of the cutest little friends joined us to celebrate.
Sam’s new favorite buddy is this fuzzy little moose. We call him Moosey, because we’re creative like that.
While outside, we held a rousing axe throwing competition, which Pete thought was highly appropriate as an ER doc. He got lucky this time, though, since our axe was plastic and the target was a hula hoop in the grass. Ella acted as game master extraordinaire.
When we first scheduled the party for a Thursday morning I thought, Who has a party on a Thursday morning? It’s crazy! But it works for my dear mamas! I was so happy they could celebrate with us! Stacy and her babes.
Hannah, our amazing babysitter. Goodness, do we love her.
Ella and Audrey. Two adorable girls, yes?
Anna and Raliegh. The very talented mama who captured all these photos. Also mama to Audrey.
Ashley and her boys. Seriously, these boys are just too handsome.
Can you believe these two happy campers were born at just 25 weeks?! They’ve come so far! Katrina, you’re such a beautiful mama.
All dressed up in our flannel!
I ordered these woodsy colored pencils on Amazon to give as a party favor. I tied a little piece of red baker’s twine around each with a printed flannel thank you note.
A very happy 4th birthday to our favorite little boy! We love you, Samuel!!
Party details:
red ceramic fruit bowl, bunting pieces, wooden S, pancake sticks, baker’s twine & plaid ribbon: Hobby Lobby
red lantern, white tablecloth, cake stand, plastic moose: Target
stuffed moose: Saver’s (second hand)
lumberjack color page free download: joyfulroots.com
mini pancakes, juice boxes & yogurt cups: Sam’s Club
invitations designed by me on PicMonkey
plastic axe: Amazon
twig colored pencils: Amazon
