Holding On

I sit on the balcony of my rented studio aparment overlooking the Atlantic Ocean, listening to the sound of the waves crashing on the fine sand, feeling the sightly cool breeze through my thin sweater. I’m taking the opportunity to breath deeply, to soak in the near-silence, and to rest my racing mind. When I dreamed of this momentary getaway months ago, I couldn’t have known how much I would need it after weeks of uncertainty in the confines of a small hotel room. I’m glad I didn’t know about it then. It is months like these that I know I am growing. I am remembering how to trust when I can’t see what’s next. I am remembering what it feels like to trade my anxiety for the peace of Jesus. I know this time of uncertainty will soon be over, but I need to remember how it feels to ask in nearly every moment for God to guide my simple, daily steps.


My quietness on the blog over the last month was brought about by a whole lot of unexpected change in a short period of time. When we sent Ella to the Montessori school for her first day of kindergarten, we were also packing for our move, planned just four days later. However, two days before the closing of our new home, we were told problems would be pushing the move to a later date. We had been pulled into the ugliness of bank fraud when our account was used multiple times in a small Midwest city. The account was quickly closed and we changed to another bank closer to home. It was a week of frustration and paperwork as we reset everything with the bank and worked on a police case into the unusual activity around the fraud. I was incredibly thankful to have Pete’s help in so much of it, as I tend to get anxious with financial issues. There are so many details that I simply don’t understand yet.

After we set our first closing date, we arranged a time for the estate sale company to begin setting up for our sale. In the first two hours, I realized we couldn’t possibly stay in the house while the sale was being prepared. Dishes and toys and clothes were everywhere as the sweet ladies with the company began pricing every single item we owned. Our beds were covered with dolls and games and there was no access to the kitchen without stepping over stacks of pots and piles of tea towels. Being in the house was stifling. I I couldn’t imagine trying to keep little hands from digging through organized boxes and pulling stacks of books off shelves. Before Ella finished that day of school, I had us checked into a hotel with a view of the harbor, promising a bit of calm during our stay of uknown length. The littles were thrilled to have a pool and a TV. I was happy to have a clear place to sleep and hot breakfast in the morning. It was a nice, unplanned escape.
We made the abolute best out of our hotel stay those first few days, but Sam was terribly sick. Our sweet boy was waking every two hours in the night, fighting a cold that was as bad as I’ve seen in him. Pete had left on Tuesday night to teach and called with news on Wednesday. He was feeling as terrible as Sammy and, after being checked by another ER doc, he discovered it was strep. While I was thankful we would have a way to fight the sickness, it was disheartening having us all in one small room while we recovered. Fortunately, I only had a hint of the yuckiness, so I was able to care for my three.
Unfortunately, it was at that same time we discovered we would need to change mortgage companies in order to close and move in to our new home. That meant going through lots of paperwork again and tracking down more information. Our banker was incredibly helpful and so very sweet. She helped us get things in order quickly and set a new closing date. As of the moment, we are set to close Wednesday morning, less than 12 hours after I fly back into Duluth! We are all ready to end our 2 1/2 week stay at the hotel. Though it’s very cozy, we are ready to settle into our new home.

For now, I will soak in one more day on the beach before heading home. I arrived in Virginia Beach on Thursday to attend an incredible conference and, as I mentioned earlier, I arranged months ago to stay two extra nights alone. After scrambling last night to find childcare for today after a friend’s family emergency, I have been able to rest. I have been writing, reading, napping, drinking coffee, and exploring the boardwalk. This entire time away has been wonderful as I prepare my heart for the next season of our adventure.






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